The Weakest Link
by Lisa Moulton
Summary: (**COMPLETED**) I know it's been done, but I couldn't resist. 8 members of the Star Wars universe play against each other for a shot at 500,000 non-republic credits. Alien Lisa hosts.
1. Introductions

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Star Wars_ or "The Weakest Link". SW is the property of George Lucas and TWL is the property of NBC. For a really good Star Wars: The Weakest Link, head over to Anakin McFly's corner of Fanfiction.net. Make use of that nice little search function the site has. It's right up there. *points up to the bar, where it says "[Find]"*

_(Cue funky TWL theme. A young, 20-something-looking woman steps from the shadows. She has waist-length brown hair, brown eyes behind gold oval-framed glasses, and is wearing blue jeans, a t-shirt with a unicorn on it, and a silver ankh necklace on a chain dangles from her neck. And, oh yeah, she has a pair of yellow-gold wings growing from her shoulder blades. A red jacket is tied to her waist. This is Alien Lisa (AL__), your hostess with the mostess.)_

**AL****: Hello, everyone, and welcome to my _Star Wars_ edition of "The Weakest Link"!**

_(The audience applauds.)_

**AL****: Thanks! Before I introduce the contestants, I want to introduce our special guest announcer! Someone very near and dear to both myself and my real life alter ego: Charlie!**

_(The camera pans up to the announcing booth where a handsome guy, aged somewhere between the mid 20s to mid 30s, with short black hair and lovely brown eyes sits. He waves to everyone and blows a kiss to __AL.)_

**Charlie:** Hello! Thanks for inviting me, Lisa!

**AL****:_ (giggling)_ No problem! (_to the cameraman) Um, over here?_**

_(The camera pans back to our lovely hostess.)_

**AL****: _(grinning)_ Good._ (to the audience)_ Doesn't Charlie have the sweetest voice? _(giggles again) Anyway, let's get started! In today's game, just like in the Earth American version, eight members of my _Star Wars_ universe will answer questions, playing for half a million non-republic credits. That's 500,000. Let's introduce the contestants! _(makes gesture to cameraman to pan to said contestants)__**

_(The camera pans to the first contestant: Luke Skywalker, dressed in a black Jedi tunic. He smiles lovingly at Lisa.)_

**Luke:** I am Luke Skywalker from the planet Tatooine. I'm a Jedi. And I'm playing so I can use the money to take Lisa out on a date.

**AL****:_ (squeals in delight)_**

_(The audience covers their ears until she's done.)_

**AL****:_ (clears throat)_ Heh, moving on…**

_(The camera pans to the second contestant: Han Solo, dressed in his usual outfit. He smiles his lopsided grin.)_

**Han:** Hiya. Han Solo, captain of the _Millennium Falcon. I'm not playing for anything because everyone knows Luke will win._

_(The audience murmurs.)_

**Luke:**_ (chuckles sheepishly and scratches his head)_

**AL****:_ (shoots Han a look)_ Shaddup, Han. You're getting a free meal out of this, aren't you?**

**Han:**_ (mutters)_

**AL****: Moving on…**

_(The camera pans to contestant number three: Chewbacca the Wookiee, nicely groomed for his network television appearance.)_

**Chewie:** Grraoooorrarooorrr.

**AL****: Thanks, Chewie. Okay, next –**

**Charlie:** Um, Lisa?

_(The camera cuts to Lisa.)_

**AL****: _(looking towards the announcing booth)_ Yes?**

**Charlie:** We can't understand him.

**AL****:_ (confused)_ You can't? _(slaps head) Oh, right! Duh. I forgot. Only Han and I can._**

**Han:** I could translate.

**AL****: That's been done. Someone go get C3PO, will you?**

_(The audience makes noises of disapproval.)_

**AL****: Hey, I know he's a pain, but maybe he'll make this thing funnier. Everyone knows my alter ego can't write humor for beans.**

_(A voice sounding a lot like Lisa's comes filtering down on the set. It's the author of this tale: Real Lisa/Lisa Fagan.)_

**RL:**_ I heard that! Watch what you say or I'll make Luke lose._

**Luke:** Hey!

**AL****: _(fumes)_ Someone go get the droid!**

_(A really, really tall guy in the audience jumps up, making the cameraman cut to him.)_

**Guy:** I'll do it! _(dashes off)_

_(Camera cuts to Luke.)_

**Luke:** Who was that?

_(Camera cuts to Lisa.)_

**AL****: Well…there's only one person I know that's that tall. It's Ben.**

**Everyone:** Who?!

**AL****:_ (rubs forehead)_ Well, you can look at it two ways. Either he's my alter ego's fiancé, or he's the thorn in my side that I end up getting together with in the future.**

_(Luke looks hurt.)_

**AL****:_ (meeps)_ Way, way after you and I, baby. _(smiles reassuringly)_**

**Luke:** Oh, okay.

**AL****: Well, while we're waiting for him, let's continue the introductions. Chewie said, "I'm Chewbacca the Wookiee, copilot of the _Falcon_." Who's next?**

_(The camera cuts to contestant four: Lando Calrissian, all decked out in regal tunic and cape.)_

**Lando:** Hello, what have we here? I'm Lando Calrissian. I ran Bespin.

**AL****: Right…next!**

_(Camera pans to contestant five: Yoda, who is sitting on a special chair so he's even with all the other players.)_

**Yoda:** Why I am here, I know not.

**AL****: Because I asked you to. Next!**

_(Pan to contestant six: Obi-Wan Kenobi, in Tatooine robe and tunic.)_

**Obi-Wan:** You brought me back for a game show?

**AL****: Yep! Where's Ben, anyway? My Ben, not you, Kenobi. Next!**

_(Pan to contestant seven: Wedge Antilles, looking rather dashing.)_

**Wedge:** Hi, everyone! Very happy to be here!

**AL****: Good! At least someone is. Last…oh, her. Well, whoever said "save the best for last" doesn't know this show. _(crosses arms over chest)_**

_(Pan to the last and final contestant: Leia Organa Solo, dressed in a_…_flight suit?)_

**Leia:** Someone broke into my dressing room and stole all my good dresses. The only thing left was this from Bespin. Do _you_ have any idea who it could've been? _(looks pointedly at Lisa)_

**AL****:_ (whistles innocently)_ Oh, look, Ben's back.**

_(The tall guy, now easier to see as the camera cuts to him – he's got green eyes, brown hair, glasses, and dressed in blue jeans and a regular t-shirt – enters with a golden protocol droid at his heels.)_

**Ben:** Sorry. He's hard to find.

**C3PO:**_ (confused) Why am I here?_

**AL****: I need someone to translate for Chewbacca and Han doing so has been done already.**

**Ben:** So has a _Star Wars_ edition of "The Weakest Link".

**AL****:_ (annoyed)_ Go back to your seat.**

_(Ben and Luke exchange glares, and Ben returns to his place in the audience.)_

**AL****: Okay. Now, for the rules of the game! We're gonna do things a little differently than the Earth version. There's a timer, but instead of counting down the seconds, it'll play the End-of-Round music when I give the last question. _(looks up)_ Charlie?**

**Charlie:** Yes, Lisa?

**AL****: Would you mind doubling as Timer Guy? There's a button right in your booth.**

**Charlie:**_ (brief pause) Ah, there it is! Sure, Lisa._

**AL****: Thanks! _(blows kiss announcer's-booth-ward, then turns to contestants)_ Anyways, I'm gonna ask each of you three questions. Each right answer will win you 20,000 credits. Each wrong answer empties your bank. The person who answers the most questions right is the strongest link, the person who answers the most questions wrong is the weakest link. There's no banking, so don't even try it. What you win is what you win and if you lose it all, that's the way the lightsaber slashes.**

_(Everyone mutters in confusion.)_

**AL****: It's an expression. Never mind.  Any money won will be yours, so at least some of you will be getting something more than free food. At the end of each round, you all will vote off who you think is the weakest link. When there're 2 players left, we will go into sudden death, where the best out of five questions wins the money. _(claps hands)_ All right! We'll take a break, then we'll start with round one!**

_(Lisa runs off the set.)_

_(Camera cuts to a two-shot of Luke and Han.)_

**Luke:** Where's she going?

**Han:** Dunno. _(glances up)_ Hey, Charlie?!Where'd Lisa go?

_(There's no answer.)_

**Han:** And where'd _he_ go?

**Cameraman:** She's doing another game show, so I assume she went to there.

**Luke:** I thought she was doing three.

**Cameraman:** She won't be doing _Star Wars_ "The Match Game" until "The Weakest Link" is done. And she can't do the other "The Weakest Link"-s until you guys are off the set.

**Luke:** Oh.

_End part one._


	2. Round One: Who Said It?

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own SW or TWL. If I did, Luke would be my own personal slave and I'd be doing a _real_ edition of the show. I borrowed the questions from StarWarsKids.com.

_(Lisa dashes back onto the set to applause.)_

**AL:**_ (out of breath) Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!_

_(There is more applause.)_

**AL:** Is everyone ready?

**Everyone:** Yeah!

**AL:** Right! _(turns to Leia)_ Leia, you _are_ the –

**Charlie:** Um, Lisa?

**AL:** _(blinks)_ Yes, dear?

**Charlie:** We haven't done the first round yet.

**AL:** _(beat)_ Oh.

_(The audience chuckles lightly.)_

**AL:** _(clears throat)_ Okay. Round One is called "Who Said It?" I'll state a quote, and you must tell me who in our universe said it. Please note that I will _not_ accept an answer of "Me", "You", "He did", "She did" or "I did". You have to state the name. First name's okay. If you don't know the name, describe the person as best you can. For example, if you thought it was me, but didn't know my name, you'd say, "That really pretty alien girl with wings that hangs around Luke all the time."

_(More chuckles from the audience.)_

**AL:** Are we ready?

**Everyone:** Yeah!

**AL:** Excellent! We'll start with the person in the first position. _(turns to Luke)_ That's you, doll.

**Luke:** All right!

**AL:** Charlie, you ready on that timer?

**Charlie:** You betcha!

**AL:** Then let's play… "The Weakest Link"!

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL:** Start the…oh, wait. We don't have a clock. So, Charlie, stand by and keep track of the questions.

**Charlie:** Ten-four.

**AL:** Let's do it! Luke, "Grab it! Almost…you almost got it!"

**Luke:** Han!

**AL:** Correct! Han, "Go for the legs. It may be our only chance of stopping them."

**Han:** Oh, uh…_ (thinks hard)_ um, Wedge?

**AL:** Wrong! The correct answer is "Luke".

**Luke:** Hah!

**AL:** Chewie, "He's got to follow his own path. No one can choose it for him."

**Chewie:** Rooarr!

**C3PO:** He said, "Leia".

**AL:** Correct! Lando, "I gotta get you out of here."

**Lando:** Um…Leia?

**AL:** Correct! Yoda, "I'm here to rescue you!"

**Yoda:** Said that, young Skywalker did.

**AL:** Um…right. Obi-Wan, "I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I've got to help them."

**Obi-Wan:** I was there. Luke.

**AL:** Correct! Wedge, "The shield is down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor."

**Wedge:** Easy! Ackbar!

**AL:** Correct! Leia, "You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!"

**Leia:** Han.

**AL:** Wrong! _(beat)_ Oh, that's right. _(grumble)_ Fine. Luke, "That's right. And my friend's out in it."

**Luke:** Uh…Han?

**AL:** Correct!

**Luke:** Yes!

**AL:** Han, "For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire."

**Han:** Uh…hm. Obi-Wan?

**AL:** Correct! Chewie, "I think our lives are about to be destroyed, anyway."

**Chewie:** _(hesitates for a minute)_ Roooarrr?

**C3PO:** "C3PO". Oh! Chewbacca, I did _not_ say that!

**AL:** He's right. The correct answer is "Luke and Leia's mother".

**Chewie:** Rooaaaaaarrrrooooaaaar!

**AL:** I don't care if none of you were there. I just say what comes up on my screen, here. _(indicates her podium and said screen)_ If you think it's someone from your past, say so.

**Chewie:** _(growls)_

**AL:** Tough cookies. Lando, "Her people are suffering…dying."

**Lando:** _(after thinking a bit)_ Luke and Leia's mother?

**AL:** Correct! See? Yoda, "Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."

**Yoda:** Said that, Obi-Wan did.

**AL:** Right. Obi-Wan, "I just got a funny feeling. Like I'm not gonna see her again."

**Obi-Wan:** Luke.

**AL:** Wrong! The correct answer is "Han".

**Han:** I knew that.

**AL:** That's because you said it. Wedge, "Jedi don't have nightmares."

**Wedge:** Uh…oh…er…Luke?

**AL:** Wrong! The correct answer is "Anakin".

**Luke:** He said that?

**AL:** According to this, love, yes. Leia, "I'm endangering a mission. I shouldn't have come."

**Leia:** Luke.

**AL:** _(double checks)_ Grrr, right. Luke, "His abilities have made him, well…arrogant."

**Luke:** _(thinking hard)_ Uh, Obi-Wan?

**AL:** Correct!

**Luke:** He wasn't talking about me, was he?

**AL:** No, dear. Han, "I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan."

**Han:** Luke!

**AL:** Wrong! The correct answer is "Obi-Wan's master". Chewie, "I know we're in trouble, just hang on!"

**Chewie:** _(thinks)_ Roooarr?

**C3PO:** "Luke".

**AL:** Wrong! The correct answer is "Anakin". Lando, "I should think you Jedi would have more respect for the difference between knowledge and – ha ha ha…wisdom."

**Lando:** _(flippantly)_ Some alien guy who owned a diner.

**AL:** Wow, right.

**Lando:** Yee-hah!

**AL:** Good job. Yoda, "Don't move, Jedi! Take him away!"

**Yoda:** Said that, Boba Fett's father did.

**AL:** Right…are you cheating?

**Yoda:** The way of the Jedi, cheating is not.

**AL:** _(murmurs)_ Whatever. Obi-Wan, "You seem a little on edge."

**Obi-Wan:** I…er, Obi-Wan.

**AL:** Correct. Wedge, "I do not like this idea of hiding."

**Wedge:** Oh, uh… _(knows it's wrong but says it anyway)_ That really, _really_ pretty alien girl with wings that hangs around Luke all the time? _(chuckles)_

**AL:** _(smiles)_ Thanks, but no. The correct answer is "Luke and Leia's mother".

**Wedge:** Darn!

**AL:** Leia, "It was just a job."

**Leia:** Sounds like something a bounty hunter would say.

**AL:** _(nearly screams in frustration)_ No matter. Right.

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL:** End of round one! Luke, Lando, Yoda and… _(growl) Leia managed to get all of their questions right. Everyone else, no dice. It's time to vote off who _you_ think is the weakest link._

_(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Luke, Lando, Yoda, and Leia are the strongest links. They got all their questions right. Han, Chewie, and Wedge are the weakest links. They have two wrong answers each. How will the votes go?

**AL:** Voting over. _(turns to Leia)_ Leia, you –

**Charlie:** _(patiently)_ Count the votes first, Lisa.

**AL:** Oh, right. _(clears throat)_ It's time to see who _you_ think is the weakest link.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**Luke:** Leia.

**Han:** Chewie.

**Chewie:** Roaarrrr.

**C3PO:** "Han".

**Lando:** Leia.

**Yoda:** Voted Solo off, I have.

**Obi-Wan:** Lando.

**Wedge:** Leia.

**Leia:** _(grumbling under her breath)_ Why bother?

**AL:** Just do it.

**Leia:** Fine. Yoda.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL:** _(positively ecstatic)_ Yes! _(regains her composure)_ Leia, why Yoda?

**Leia:** _(bored)_ You paid me to vote for anyone except Luke, and the way he talks is annoying.

**Yoda:** Fit to be a Jedi, you are not.

**AL:** That's enough. Wedge, why Leia?

**Wedge:** You paid Luke, Lando, and I to vote for her.

**Leia:** I saw that one coming…

**AL:** Damned straight. Obi-Wan, why Lando?

**Obi-Wan:** He survived and I didn't.

**Wedge:** Tough.

**AL:** Quiet, Wedge. _(to Obi-Wan)_ Tough. Yoda, why Han?

**Yoda:** A bad influence, he is.

**Han:** I am not!

**AL:** Enough. Chewie, why Han?

**Chewie:** Rooarroooooaoooorooooorrrrrr.

**C3PO:** "He keeps breaking the _Falcon_"? Oh, my!

**Han:** You're gonna get it after the show, fuzzball.

**AL:** Well, Han, why Chewie, then?

**Han:** Because he stinks when he takes a bath.

**Chewie:** Rooaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!

**Han:** You and what army?!

**AL:** Hey! Settle it after the show, boys. _(claps hands)_ Well… _(turns to Leia)_ with three votes, Leia, you _are_ the weakest link! Goodbye!

_(Leia stalks off, glaring at Lisa on the way.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Leia:** I knew I was going to get voted off first. Lisa hates me. Everyone knows Luke is going to win. I'm only here for the free food.

_(Back to the set:)_

**AL:** One player down. Who will go next? We'll play round two after the break. _(she runs off the set.)_

**Luke:** Back to her other show?

**Cameraman:** Yep.

_(She suddenly runs back and grabs C3PO by the arm.)_

**AL:** Come on, Goldenrod. I have another job for you.

**C3PO:** Oh, my!

_(They both leave the set.)_

_End part two._


	3. Round Two: What Doesn't Belong?

**Disclaimer:** Still own neither movie nor show. Again, questions came from StarWarsKids.com.

_(Lisa returns to the set with C3PO at her heels.)_

**AL:** Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!

_(The audience applauds.)_

**AL:** As you know, Leia was voted off at the end of Round One, "Who Said It?" Now, we're moving on to Round Two!

_(Applause.)_

**AL:** Round Two is called "What Doesn't Belong?" I will list a group of people, places, or objects and you must tell me which doesn't belong. Now, there is something I must do before we start, and I advise everyone to cover their ears.

_(Confused, everyone does.)_

**AL:** _(clears throat, then begins to sing) One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the other by the time I finish my song? __(makes gesture to indicate they may uncover their ears) All right! We ready to begin?_

**Everyone:** Yeah!

**AL:** Charlie, you ready?

**Charlie:** Ready to roll!

**AL:** Stand by on the timer! Let's begin! We'll start with Luke because I love him.

_(Audience groans while Luke chuckles embarrassedly.)_

**AL:** Luke: Coruscant, Tatooine, Naboo, or Yoda?

**Luke:** Uh…Yoda?

**AL:** Correct! Yoda's not a planet.

**Yoda:** Correct, that is.

**AL:** Han: Lyn Me, Mas Amedda, Ann and Tann Gella, or Bib Fortuna?

**Han:** Bib Fortuna! Cuz I know who he is.

**AL:** Wrong! The answer is "Mas Amedda". He's not a Twi'lek, he's a Chagrian.

**Han:** Oh.

**AL:** Sorry. Chewie: Skiff, snowspeeder, sail bardge, or landspeeder?

**Chewie:** Aoooorrrrrrrarrrr.

**C3PO:** "Snowspeeder".

**AL:** Correct! All the others are sand vehicles. Lando: Dexter Jettser, Princess Leia, Senator Amidala, Orn Free Taa?

**Lando:** Huh…Dexter Jettser?

**AL:** Correct! Everyone else is a senator.

**Lando:** I thought everyone else was a girl.

**AL:** _(chuckles) Lando, Orn Free Taa is a male, too._

**Lando:** Oh…

**AL:** Yoda: TC-14, R2-D2, Lobot, or Podrace cam droid.

**Yoda:** A droid, Lobot is not.

**AL:** Correct! Obi-Wan: R5 droid, GNK droid, R5-N2, or R2-D2?

**Obi-Wan:** GNK droid.

**AL:** Right! Everyone else is an astromech droid. The GNK is a power droid. Wedge: Anakin, Han, Shmi, or Luke?

**Wedge:** Uh…Han?

**AL:** Right! Everyone else is a Skywalker.

**Luke:** Who's Shmi?

**AL:** Your grandmother. Luke: Chewbacca, Wampa, Ewok, or Rancor?

**Luke:** Hm…the Rancor?

**AL:** Correct, my love! The Rancor has no fur. Han: Bantha, Tauntaun, Acklay, or Reek?

**Han:** Geez…Acklay?

**AL:** Correct! The Acklay wasn't ridden.

_(The audience chuckles.)___

**AL:** Not like that! Chewie: Mouse droid, Interrogator droid, Probot, or R2-D2?

**Chewie:** Grrooarr?

**C3PO:** "R2".

**AL:** Correct! The others are Imperial droids. Lando: Spear, vibro-ax, authority stick, or stone knife?

**Lando:** Uh…vibro-ax?

**AL:** Correct! The others are Ewok weapons. Yoda: Captain Panaka, Anakin, Jango Fett, or Captain Typho?

**Yoda:** Protector of Senator Amidala, Jango Fett is not!

**AL:** Yep! Obi-Wan: Obi-Wan, Yoda, Evan Piell, or Mace Windu?

**Obi-Wan:** Uh…Obi-Wan.

**AL:** Correct. Back then, Obi-Wan was not a Jedi Master. Wedge: Luke's lightsaber, Vader's lightsaber, Obi-Wan's lightsaber, or Qui-Gon's lightsaber?

**Wedge:** Who's Qui-Gon? Never mind. Howzabout Vader's lightsaber.

**AL:** Correct! All the others were Jedi.

**Wedge:** Wasn't Vader a Jedi?

**AL:** Actually, no. He was a Dark Knight. Luke: Scouttrooper, stormtrooper, Darth Vader, or snowtrooper?

**Luke:** Vader?

**AL:** Right, love. The others are all types of stormtroopers. Han: Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Taun We, or Clone Troopers?

**Han:** Uh…Clone Troopers?

**AL:** Wrong. The correct answer is "Taun We", for all the others share genetic material. Chewie: Queen Amidala, Palpatine, Jabba the Hutt, or Jar Jar Binks?

**Chewie:** Aooraooooooarrrrrrrrrroooarrr.

**C3PO:** Oh, my. "As I know only one name, I pick Jabba the Hutt."

**AL:** Right! Everyone else is from Naboo. Lando: Blue tunic and cape, snow suit, funky white dress-thing, or camouflage?

**Lando:** Blue tunic and cape! I was the only one to wear 'em!

**AL:** Right! All the rest were worn by Leia. Yoda: TIE Advanced, Tantive IV, Y-Wing, or X-Wing?

**Yoda:** Hrmm…Imperial ship, TIE Advanced is.

**AL:** Right. Obi-Wan: Luke, Anakin, Mace Windu, or Obi-Wan?

**Obi-Wan:** Master Windu.

**AL:** Right. He's the only Jedi Master of the bunch. Wedge: Boss Nass, Emperor's Royal Guard, Senate Guard, or Gamorrean guard?

**Wedge:** _(takes the obvious choice) Boss Nass?_

**AL:** Correct! The rest are guards.

**Charlie:** _(presses button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL:** Whew! End of round two! It's time to vote off who _you_ think is the weakest link.

_(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Everyone except Han is the strongest links. They got all their questions right. Han has two wrong answers. How will the votes go?

**AL:** Voting over. It's time to see who _you_ think is the weakest link.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**Luke:** Han.

**Han:** Yoda.

**Chewie:** Roaarrrr.

**C3PO:** "Han".

**Lando:** Yoda.

**Yoda:** Voted Solo off, I have.

**Obi-Wan:** Wedge.

**Wedge:** Obi-Wan.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL:** Luke, baby, why Han?

**Luke:** He got the most questions wrong.

_(Chewie and Yoda concur.)_

**AL:** Fair enough. Han, why Yoda?

**Han:** That voice is getting annoying.

_(Lando agrees.)_

**Yoda:** _(growls)_

**AL:** No fighting. Obi-Wan, why Wedge?

**Obi-Wan:** Same reason as last time.

**AL:** Okay. Wedge, why Obi-Wan?

**Wedge:** Because he voted for me in the last round.

**AL:** Well, Han, with three votes you _are_ the weakest link! Goodbye!

_(Han sighs and walks off the set.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Han:** I don't see how she expects us to answer questions about people we don't even know. And well all know Luke is going to win because the author of this thing has a crush on him. Oh, well. I'm going to raid the buffet.

_(Back on set:)_

**AL:** Two players down. Six to go. Join us for round three after the break. _(runs to C3PO and grabs his arm)_ Let's go. _(they leave the set)_

**Lando:** Where is she taking him?

**Cameraman:** I think she's using him to translate in her other show.

**Wedge:** Hey, what's your name, anyway?

**Cameraman:** Who, me? Name's John. Nice to meet you.

**Contestants:** Likewise.

_End part three._


	4. Round Three: True or False?

**Reviews:** _Lightbulby29 – Nope, don't like Leia at all. Yes, even though she's Luke's sister. And I have a crush on Luke, so I could never, ever hate him. I love him too much.  
            __Adam – Thanks! It's coming along!  
            __Lightbulby29 – You're reviewing the story of a Trekkie, you know that? ^^  
            __nileqt87­ – I have nothing against Han at all. It's Leia I hate, and I don't find Luke annoying at all. Probably because I'm biased. I don't think I said anything about their fans. *shrug*  
**Disclaimers:** Do you __really think I'd be writing this thing if I owned what and who's in it? *shakes head* I'd be having it filmed. I also probably wouldn't be taking the questions and stuff from StarWarsKids.com. And the one who gets voted off did so because I assigned numbers to each character and had someone pick a number. He was chosen. Sorry._

_(Lisa and C3PO emerge onto the set and take their places.)_

**AL:** Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!

_(Cue cheers and applause.)_

**AL:** Thank you. I'm sorry to say that Han was voted off in our last round. Contrary to popular belief, I have nothing against the nerf herder, really. Anyway, it's time to move on to Round Three!

_(Applause.)_

**AL:** Round Three is the "True or False?" round. I will state a question, and you, my dear contestants, have to say whether you think it's true or false. Again, we'll start with my number one Jedi –

**Ben:** _(shouting from the audience) Ex__cuse me?!_

**AL:** _(groans) My number one __blue-eyed Jedi…__ (mutters) good grief… _(full voice)_ Luke. _(turns Ben-ward)_ Pipe it down or I'll kick you off "Family Feud". __(turns back to contestants) You ready?_

_(The contestants all nod.)_

**AL:** Charlie, you ready?

**Charlie:** You bet!

**AL:** Then let's play… "The Weakest Link"!

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL:** Charlie, stand by on the timer. Let's begin. Luke, "R2-D2 projected a message to Jabba from Princess Leia".

**Luke:** False! That was me!

**AL:** Correct! Chewie, "The spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi told Luke that he had a twin sister".

**Chewie:** _(after thinking a moment) Raahhr._

**C3PO:** "False".

**AL:** Wrong! That is, indeed, true. Lando, "Han Solo was piloting the _Millennium Falcon when it blasted the second Death Star"._

**Lando:** False! That was me!

**AL:** Correct! Yoda, "The Rebel Alliance headquarters was located in their star cruiser, _Home One"._

**Yoda:** True, that is.

**AL:** Correct! Obi-Wan, "Luke, Han, Chewbacca and Leia traveled to Endor in a stolen Imperial shuttle".

**Obi-Wan:** That's true.

**AL:** Correct! Wedge, "It is a period of civil war". Well, _was_ a period of civil war.

**Wedge:** True?

**AL:** Correct! Luke, "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden planet – "

**Luke:** False! It was a hidden base.

**AL:** Correct! Chewie, "During the battle, Imperial spies managed to steal – "

**Chewie:** Raahhr! Roarrr arrh rahhhrrrrarroooooorrrr.

**C3PO:** "False. They were Rebel spies".

**AL:** Correct! Lando, "…the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy and entire planet".

**Lando:** True!

**AL:** Correct! Yoda, "…Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans…"

**Yoda:** True, that is.

**AL:** Correct! Obi-Wan, "Princess Leia Organa pretends to be on a diplomatic mission in order to aid the Alliance".

**Obi-Wan:** True.

**AL:** Correct! Wedge, "The cockpit on Luke's landspeeder does not have a full cover".

**Wedge:** True!

**AL:** Correct! Baby, "Han Solo is frozen in carbonite". Er, well, _was frozen.****_

**Luke:** True!

**AL:** Correct! _(laughs a little) Chewie, "Chewbacca is a Wookiee"._

**Chewie:** _(laughs) Rarrhhh._

**C3PO:** "True". Oh, I _do_ hope so…

**AL:** _(laughing) Correct. Who put these things in order, anyway?_

_(Again, the voice of the author rains down on the set.)_

**RL:** I did. Move along.

**AL:** _(glares briefly to the ceiling, then resumes) Lando, "Chewbacca has blue eyes"._

**Lando:** _(tries to look, but the Wookiee turns his head so he can't see) Traitor. Um, well, considering I looked into them when he was strangling me…true?_

**AL:** Correct! Yoda, "Jabba the Hutt ate Salacious Crumb".

**Yoda:** False, that is.

**AL:** Correct. Who'd want to eat that annoying little monkey-lizard? Anyway, Obi-Wan, "C3PO is not the first functional droid that Anakin built".

**C3PO:** Oh! Anakin _built me?_

**Obi-Wan:** False.

**AL:** Correct.

**C3PO:** Oh, my circuits!

**Luke:** My father built Threepio?

**AL:** _(sighs) Yes, dear, he did. But he doesn't remember it, so don't trouble yourself over it, love. Wedge, "Han Solo won the _Millennium Falcon_ in a game of Sabacc"._

**Wedge:** That's true.

**AL:** Correct!

**Charlie:** _(presses button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL:** End of round three! Voting time! It's time to vote for who _you think is the weakest link!_

_(The contestants begin their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Everyone except Chewbacca is the strongest links. Will the votes follow the statistics?

**AL:** Voting over. It's time to see who _you_ think is the weakest link.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**Luke:** Wedge.

**Chewie:** Rooarrhharr.

**C3PO:** "Yoda". Oh, dear!

**Lando:** Chewie.

**Yoda:** Voted off Calrissian, I have.

**Obi-Wan:** Chewie.

**Wedge:** Chewie.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL:** Honey, why Wedge?

**Luke:** He survived and Biggs didn't.

**Wedge:** Huh? Oh. Well, that's not my fault.

**AL:** That's true, Luke.

_(Luke shrugs.)_

**AL:** Chewie, why Yoda?

**Chewie:** Rahhroorar oarrarroooooorrr haarrrarrr rarrroarroo.

**C3PO:** "Because he talks funny"? Oh, my! Chewbacca, _really_!

**Chewie:** Raahhhhhhrrrrr!

**C3PO:** No, I will _not be quiet, Chewbacca! You do not go offending powerful Jedi Masters!_

**Yoda:** True, this is.

**AL:** All right, all right. Enough. Lando, why Chewie?

**Lando:** He got a question wrong. And that droid is becoming annoying.

_(Obi-Wan and Wedge agree.)_

**C3PO:** _(indignant) Well! See if I ever help __you all out again!_

**AL:** Shut it. Yoda, why Lando?

**Yoda:** A good reason, I have not. Told me, instinct did.

**Lando:** _(mutters) Yeah, I bet._

**AL:** Relax. _(sighs) Well, Chewie. I'm sorry to say that, with three votes, you _are_ the weakest link! Goodbye!_

**Chewie:** _(growls and drags C3PO off the stage)_

**AL:** _(calling after) Don't break him, Chewie. I need him for the other show._

_(Chewie just grunts in reply.)_

_(In a bad camera cut, we go backstage where Chewie has already given his thoughts. We catch up with C3PO's translation.)_

**C3PO:** Oh, dear. "How was I supposed to know what happened when I wasn't even there? But at least I won enough money to treat myself to dinner." Chewbacca! The station is providing an all-you-can-eat buffet! How _could_ you possibly be hungry after that?!

_(Chewie growls and we cut back to the set.)_

**AL:** Three people down. Who will go next? Find out, when we begin round four!

_(She runs off the set.)_

**John:** She's going to wear a rut into the studio floor if she keeps that up.

**Luke:** I'll use my winnings to pay for it.

_End part four._


	5. Round Four: Know Your Character

**Reviews:** _Anakin McFly – Whee! The legend reviewed my story! Heh. Anyways, I know it was based on Aphy's version, and I __have read it.  
            __Princess-Kinky – Nice name. Let's see, what have I got against Leia. It's called jealousy, my friend. You see, I have a crush on Luke (yes I am _perfectly_ aware that they are brother and sister). Connect the dots. Hmm, shall I take the term "horror" as a compliment?  
            __socal-schitzophrenic – Yes, I am very odd. Thank you for the compliment.  
**Disclaimers:** I still own nothing in this story except AL. The person who gets voted off was so because I had someone pick a number again. Questions, again, came from StarWarsKids.com._

_(AL and C3PO return to the set and take their places.)_

**AL****: Welcome back to the show! Listen, guys. You're gonna get a break after this show is over.**

**Luke:** Why?

**AL****: Because I have something else I'm gonna do. Now that "Family Feud" is over, we're gotta get this done, then I can do that. _Then_ I can do something else with you guys. Actually, I think Ben's gonna be doing something. With Luke, at least. I'll be there, too.**

**Luke:** I wasn't told.

**AL****: _(shrugs)_ Ask Ben during the break. _(clears throat)_ Okay, everyone! As you know, Chewie was voted off during the last round. Round Four is called "Know Your Character". I'll ask specific questions about someone you guys know. Okay? Everyone ready?**

_(Everyone nods the affirmative.)_

**AL****: Charlie, you ready?**

**Charlie:** You bet.

**AL****: Stand by on the timer. We'll start with Luke, of course. Let's begin. Luke, correctly spell Chewbacca's species.**

**Luke:** W-O-O-K-I-E-E.

**AL****: Correct! Lando, what planet is Chewbacca from?**

**Lando:** Kashyyyk.

**AL****: Right! Yoda, this person first saved Chewie's life.**

**Yoda:** Solo, that was.

**AL****: Right! Obi-Wan, Chewie carries this traditional Wookiee weapon.**

**Obi-Wan:** Oh, um…blaster?

**AL****: Wrong! The correct answer is "bowcaster".**

**Obi-Wan:** I knew that!

**AL****: Sorry. Wedge, true or false? Chewie lives to be more than 200 years old and has a son named "Lumpy".**

**Wedge:** Er…false?

**AL****: Sorry. That's true. Luke, true or false? Yoda trained Count Dooku in the ways of the Force.**

**Luke:** Hm. False?

**AL****: Right…wait. No, that's wrong! _(gasps and shouts toward the heavens) How dare you?!_**

_(The voice of the author again speaks.)_

**RL:** Hey, come on. The guy's gonna win. What are you worried about?

**AL****: You made him get an answer _wrong! It's sacrilege!!_**

**RL:** Get on with the show or I'll end it right here and now.

**AL****: _(hems and haws for a bit, then growls)_ Lando, before which battle did Yoda become one with the Force?**

**Lando:** Oh, er…the second Death Star?

**AL****: Right. Yoda, who was your final student?**

**Yoda:** Young Skywalker, that was.

**AL****: Yup. Obi-Wan, name two planets Yoda's been on.**

**Obi-Wan:** Coruscant and Naboo.

**AL****: Right. Lando, Yoda was one of ten, twelve, or fourteen members of the Jedi High Counsel.**

**Lando:** Hm…always take the middle number. Twelve.

**AL****: Correct. Luke, how did Han Solo acquire the _Millennium Falcon_?**

**Luke:** He won it.

**AL****: Yup. Lando, when did Darth Vader have Han frozen in carbonite?**

**Lando:** That was when he wanted Luke in the carbonite instead.

**AL****: I'll accept that. Yoda, Han landed the _Millennium Falcon_ in this location for repairs.**

**Yoda:** Hmm. Cloud City, that was.

**AL****: Right. Obi-Wan, why did Jabba place a bounty on Han?**

**Obi-Wan:** He owed him money, didn't he?

**AL****: Right. Wedge, what is Han's loyal friend and first mate?**

**Wedge:** He's a Wookiee.

**AL****: Right.**

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL****:** End of round four! It's time to vote for who _you_ think is the weakest link!

_(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Lando and Yoda are the strongest links. They got all their questions right. Luke, Obi-Wan, and Wedge each have one question wrong. How will the votes go?

**AL****: Voting over. It's time to see who _you_ think is the weakest link!**

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**Luke:** Obi-Wan.

**Lando:** Obi-Wan.

**Yoda:** Voted off Kenobi, I have.

**Obi-Wan:** Wedge.

**Wedge:** Obi-Wan.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL****: Luke, why Obi-Wan?**

**Luke:** I wanted to vote off a Jedi Master and he got a question wrong.

_(Lando and Wedge nod.)_

**AL****: Why'd you vote off Obi-Wan, Yoda?**

**Yoda:** An answer wrong he got. Fit to be a Jedi he is not.

**Obi-Wan:** _(rolls his eyes)_

**AL****: Okay, then. Obi-Wan, why Wedge?**

**Obi-Wan:** I just felt like it.

**AL****: All right, then. Obi-Wan, with four votes, you _are_ the weakest link! Good-bye!**

_(Obi-Wan leaves the set.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Obi-Wan:** All right, I admit I had a good time. Now, while I'm still alive, I'm going to go for that buffet.

_(On set:)_

**AL:** Four contestants down. Who will go next? Find out when we return to "The Weakest Link"!

_End part five._


	6. Round Five: Colors Everywhere

**Reviews:** _Princess-Kinky – Thanks!  
            __tkd_lcb – I'm running out of questions as it is. ^^ Thanks, anyway.  
**Disclaimers:** You can blame the next person being voted off on a friend of mine, because she was saying he should win. Naturally, I turn the tables. Because I'm evil. Muahahaha!_

_(We return to the show.)_

**AL****: Welcome back! Luke, Yoda, Lando, and Wedge are left. Who's gonna go next? Let's find out. Round Five is called "Colors Everywhere". Don't worry. It's multiple choice. I'll state three possible answers, then ask a question, and my lovely contestants must pick the right one. Everyone ready?**

_(They give their affirmative.)_

**AL****: Charlie, you ready?**

**Charlie:** Yup.

**AL**:** Then let's begin.**

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL**:** Luke: Purple, black, or silver?The suit worn by Bounty hunter Zam Wesell was mostly this color.**

**Luke:** Er, well, I'll pick purple since it used to be your favorite color.

**AL****:** Correct! Lando: Red and white, blue and silver, or white and silver? R4-P17, the astromech droid in Obi-Wan's Jedi starfighter, was what color?

**Lando:** Hm…I'll pick red and white since they're your favorite colors.

AL: Right! Nice strategy, you two. Yoda: White and black, shades of blue, or beige? What color were the uniforms worn by the clone children on Kamino?

**Yoda:** Shades of blue, they were.

**AL**:** Right. Wedge: True or false? The young Padawan in Yoda's training class all wore dark brown robes.**

**Wedge:** Um…true?

**AL**:** Nope. That's false. Sorry. Luke: Yellow, silver, or blue and silver? On Coruscant, Anakin borrowed an airspeeder. What color was it?**

**Luke:** He did that? When? Er, yellow? Ugh, why'd I pick that? You don't like yellow.

**AL**:** Easy, love. You got it right.**

**Luke:** Yeah!

**AL**:** Nice. Lando: Red, blue, or yellow? What color were the stripes on Anakin's podracer?**

**Lando:** Well, it worked before. Red, because your favorite color is red.

**AL**:** Ooh, strategy worked against you, Lando. The correct answer is blue. I like blue. Not as much as I like red, but I like blue. Sorry. Yoda: Black, white, or brown? Tauntauns are predominately this color.**

**Yoda:** White, they are.

**AL**:** Correct! Wedge: Blue, white, or green? Qui-Gon's lightsaber was this color.**

**Wedge:** Oh! Uh…well, it's either the first or the last…um…I'll pick the one Luke's is. Green?

**AL**:** Correct! That's my favorite color, too.**

**Luke:** So's white.

**AL**:** True, yes, but you don't see a white lightsaber, now, do you? _(turns to audience) _Do_ you? __(shrugs) Moving along. Luke: Red, black, or white? What color were the robes of the Imperial Royal Guards?_**

**Luke:** That's easy. I saw 'em. They're red.

**AL**:** Right! Lando: Silver, white, or yellow? The Naboo N-1 starfighter was mostly this color.**

**Lando:** Oh! I think I saw an image of one of those once…wasn't it yellow?

**AL**:** Indeed, it was. Yoda: Purple, blue, or gold? Lando's two capes can best be described as this color.**

**Yoda:** Blue, they are.

**AL**:** Right. Wedge: Brown, yellow, or white? Princess Leia's insulated jumpsuit on Hoth was this color.**

**Wedge:** I'll pick white, since it's your favorite color.

**AL**:** You picked correctly.**

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL****:** End of round five! Go vote.

_(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Lando and Wedge got one question wrong each. How will the votes go?

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL****:** Voting over. Who'd'ja all pick?

**Luke:** Yoda.

**Lando:** Yoda.

_(The audience reacts.)_

**Yoda:** Voted off Calrissian, I have.

**Wedge:** Yoda.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL****: _(genuinely stunned)_ Wow, I didn't see this one coming. Luke, why Yoda?**

**Luke:** The other Lisa paid all of us to vote him off because writing his speech is hurting her hands.

**AL****: _(confused)_ Oh-kay. Um, Yoda, why Lando?**

**Yoda:** Vote for myself, I could not.

**AL****: _(thrown)_ Well…I guess, with three votes, Yoda, you _are the weakest link. Goodbye._**

_(Yoda's chair becomes a repulsorlift and floats him away.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Yoda:** Nothing to say, I have. For this Jedi, it is time to eat.

_(On set:)_

**AL****: Well, we're down to three players. Who's next? Find out when we return to… "The Weakest Link!"**

_End part six._


	7. Round Six: Aptitude Test

**Disclaimer:** Oh, just see previous chapters. This time, I wrote down the two remaining people and had my mom pick a random name.

_(Returning to the show.)_

**AL****: Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"!**

_(Cheers and applause.)_

**AL****: Well, we're getting down to the wire, now! Luke, Lando, and Wedge are left. Is everyone ready for round six?**

_(Affirmatives all around.)_

**AL****: Great! Round six is the Aptitude Test. And, lucky you, it's also multiple choice. Charlie, stand by on the timer.**

**Charlie:** Yep.

**AL****: Let's begin. Luke: AT-AT is to Darth Vader, C3PO is to Anakin, or C3PO is to Luke? Podracer is to Anakin as…?**

**Luke: Em…C3PO is to Anakin?**

**AL**:** Correct! Lando: The _Slave I_ is to Jango, the Naboo starship is to Senator Amidala, or all of the above? _Tantive IV is to Leia as…?_**

**Lando: Always take all of the above.**

**AL**:** Yes, indeedy. Wedge: Han Solo is to Tauntaun, Anakin is to reek, or Leia is to Ewok? Tusken Raider is to bantha as…?**

**Wedge: Hm…Han is to Tauntaun?**

**AL**:** Yup. Luke: Padmé is to Leia, Padmé is to Luke, or Jango is to Boba? Shmi is to Anakin as…?**

**Luke: Er…well, uh…_(mumbles under his breath)_ Anakin was my father. According to Lisa, Shmi is my grandmother…so…_(full voice)_ Padmé is to Luke?**

**AL**:** Correct! Nice one, working that out. Lando: Red is to Count Dooku, blue is to Yoda, or white is to Luke? Purple is to Mace as…**

**Lando: Huh. They sound like lightsaber colors, and I know for a fact Luke's isn't white. Hm, well, we'll go with the favorites again. Red is to Count Dooku?**

**AL**:** Right. Wedge: Force Lightning is to Yoda, cape is to Lando, or a saberdart is to Jango? Force Lightning is to the Emperor as…?**

**Wedge: Uh…saberdart is to Jango?**

**AL**:** Yup. Luke: Suns are to Tatooine, sand is to Tatooine, or Sand People are to Tatooine? Rocks are to Geonosis as…?**

**Luke: Um, sand is to Tatooine?**

**AL**:** Good job. Lando: Anakin is to Qui-Gon, Anakin is to Obi-Wan, or Darth Vader is to Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon is to Dooku as…?**

**Lando: Err…Anakin is to Qui-Gon?**

**AL**:** Nope, sorry. The correct answer is Anakin is to Obi-Wan. Wedge: Senators are to the Republic, Jedi are to the Empire, or Stormtroopers are to the Empire? Clone troopers are to the Republic as…?**

**Wedge: Hm. Stormtroopers are to the Empire?**

**AL**:** Right!**

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL****:** End of round six! Vote, please.

_(The contestants pick up their pens and begin writing down their vote.)_

**Charlie:** Lando is the weakest link with one wrong answer. How will the votes go?

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL****:** Voting over. Lay it on me.

**Luke:** Lando.

**Lando:** Wedge.

**Wedge:** Lando.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL****: Luke, why Lando?**

**Luke:** He got a question wrong.

**Wedge:** Yeah, and since we're not allowed to vote for Luke, he's the only one left.

**Lando:** That's why I voted for Wedge.

**AL****: Okey-dokey. Lando, with two votes, you _are_ the weakest link! Goodbye!**

_(Lando leaves the set.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Lando:** Well, I had fun, really. Wedge seems to be the other fan favorite, so it's all right he's going to the final rounds.

_(On set:)_

**AL****: Two to go. We'll get on with the final rounds when we return to… "The Weakest Link"!**

_End part seven._


	8. Round Seven: Huttese, the Civilized Voca...

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. This time, everything came from the _Star Wars Galactic Phrase Book and Travel Guide_.**

_(Returning to the show.)___

**AL**:** Welcome back to… "The Weakest Link"! There are two players left: Luke and Wedge. This is the final round of three questions each. Round seven is called "Huttese, the Civilized Vocabulary". I'll say a simple word or phrase in Huttese, and you have to say it in English. Or Basic, depending where you come from. I know you both know the language.**

_(Luke and Wedge nod.)_

**AL**:** Then let's do it to it.**

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL**:** Charlie, stand by.**

**Charlie: You got it.**

**AL**:** Let's begin. Luke, "_H'chu apenkee_".**

**Luke: "Greetings".**

**AL**:** Right. Wedge, "_Chowbaso_".**

**Wedge: "Welcome".**

**AL**:** Yup. Luke, "_Inkabunga_".**

**Luke: "Incredible".**

**AL**:** Correct. Wedge, "_Eniki_".**

**Wedge: Oh, I don't know that. Uh, "enter"?**

**AL**:** Nope. "Okay". Luke, "_Tagwa_".**

**Luke: "Yes".**

**AL**:** _(nodding) __Tagwa. Wedge, "__Nobata"._**

**Wedge: Taking the obvious, here. "No".**

**AL**:** Right.**

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL****:** End of round seven! Wedge got one question wrong. Now, since there's only two of you left, there's no voting. We'll play the final round after this.

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

_End part eight._


	9. Round Eight: General Trivia

**Disclaimer: Reinstating that _Star Wars_ belongs to George Lucas and "The Weakest Link" belongs to NBC. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read this story. Extra special thanks to Charlie for being you. Thank you, George, for creating this universe and thank you NBC for playing "The Weakest Link". The questions came from TheForce.net.**

_(Returning once more to the show.)_

**AL**:** Welcome to the final round of… "The Weakest Link"!**

_(Cheers and applause.)_

**AL**:** In this final round, I'll ask both of you five questions. Whoever gets the most right will win the big money. In case of a tie…well, we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. Are you ready?**

_(Everyone gives their affirmative.)_

**AL**:** Charlie?**

**Charlie: Ready, willing, and able!**

**AL**:** The eighth and final round is a general trivia round. Let's begin.**

_(Dramatic music plays.)_

**AL**:** Luke, what was the time interval between the first Death Star battle and the second?**

**Luke: Four years, six months.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Wedge, name the four types of Rebel starfighters.**

**Wedge: A-Wing, B-Wing, X-Wing, and Y-Wing.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Luke, name four types of Imperial TIEs.**

**Luke: Advanced, Interceptor, Bomber, and Fighter.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Wedge, name the five specialized stormtrooper types.**

**Wedge: Oh, er…scout, snow…_(sighs and thinks hard)_ I don't know.**

**AL**:** Incorrect. The correct answer is Standard, Sandtrooper, Snowtrooper, Scout, Royal Guard. Luke, good Jedi don't die. What do they do instead?**

**Luke: They fade away.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Wedge, what is the _Millennium Falcon_ armed with?**

**Wedge: Uh…_(thinks really hard)_ Oh, darn. I don't know.**

**AL**:** Incorrect. The correct answer is 2 quad laser cannons, 2 concussion missile tubes with 8 missiles, and a ventral automatic blaster cannon. Luke, a Stormtrooper's armor has "energy sinks" that help absorb blast energy that hits the armor. Where are the energy sinks located?**

**Luke: Since I spent some time in stormtrooper armor, I should know this, shouldn't I? _(thinks)_ The blocks that hang from the belt on the hips?**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Wedge, name your various roles from the battle with the first Death Star to the battle with the last Death Star.**

**Wedge: _(glad to have an easy question _for once) Red Two, Rogue Three, and Red Leader.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer. Luke, what instrument does Max Rebo play?**

**Luke: Oh! Uh, hm…er…_(thinks hard)_ uhhh…_(sighs)_ I'm sorry, Lisa. I don't know.**

**AL**:** That's okay, love. I didn't know, either. The correct answer is a red ball organ. Wedge, if you get this question right…well, Luke still wins.**

**Wedge: Fine by me.**

**AL**:** Very well. Wedge, name Lando's copilot in the battle with the second Death Star.**

**Wedge: Nien Nunb.**

**AL**:** That is the correct answer.**

**Charlie:** _(presses timer button)_

_(End-of-Round music plays.)_

**AL**:** That's the end of the final round. The final tally for the final five questions is…Luke with four correct answers and one wrong, and Wedge with three correct answers and two wrong. Luke's the winner!**

**Audience: _(in unison)_ Naturally!**

**AL**:** Heh. Well, Wedge, thank you for playing.**

**Wedge: Thanks for having me.**

**AL**:** You _are the weakest link! __Mee jewz ku. That means "goodbye" in Huttese._**

_(Wedge walks off the set.)_

_(Backstage:)_

**Wedge: Well, _everyone_ knew Luke was going to win. I participated because I like challenges, and this was a big challenge with the questions I didn't know the answers to.**

_(Back on the set, Lisa and Luke are standing next to one another, Luke with his arms around her shoulders and Lisa with her arm around his waist.)_

**AL**:** Thank you, everyone, for tuning in to my _Star Wars_ edition of "The Weakest Link"! Thank you, Charlie, for announcing. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a date.**

_(Theme music plays and credits roll.)_

_The end.___


End file.
